I was rereading a bit of
The Search by Tom Brown, Jr. today over a flat white at the cafe, when I came to a paragraph that caused me to blurt the words "Oh Shit" out of my mouth. I never swear, especially out loud, but these words hit me like a ton of bricks:
The white man builds a shelter, and it becomes his prison. He shuts out the cleansing elements. He shuts out the sun, the wind, and the rain. He separates himself from the earth and refuses to budge. Therefore he is always sick.
How freakin' true is this? Can you even imagine life any other way? We surround ourselves with worldly comforts that do nothing but shelter our bodies and minds from reality. Do you know what reality is? I don't. I know what society's definition of reality is. We all do and we live it out to a T in our daily lives. Go to school, work, generate wealth, buy a nice car, buy a house, and live your life like the Jones'. Well I don't necessarily know better, and I've certainly lived in this pseudo reality all of my life, but I feel that there is more. More that we can't see. More that we refuse to feel. Maybe not refuse, but perhaps never give ourselves the opportunity to experience. I'm reminded of Matthew:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I sit here looking around my room wondering what I could do without. I really don't need anything of this to live. What would become of me if I didn't religiously go on the internet, or listen to my iPod, or read books? What if I knew no other way? Certainly I wouldn't die of boredom. Or would I, now that I know the comforts all these things bring me? What would I think if my thoughts weren't manufactured by this modern society? Knowing that my thoughts, values, lifestyle, etc, were all learned, how could I possibly discover who I truly am? If I was alone in the wild since I was born, what would
I think is right or wrong, fun or boring, real or superficial? Is truly independent, original thought even possible when the very mechanism we use to process it is inherently not our own? Or is it? How do you know?
Sorry if you read this. I have a headache.
